Thomas De Gendt is known as one of the strongest and most aggressive riders on the World Tour, whose cycling talents have contributed to breakaway victories and domination in the minor classes of the Grand Tour.

However, in an intimate autobiography, the Belgian rider revealed a far more personal and intimate side, revealing that he suffered a moment of depression in 2017 and considered retirement during the blockade of COVID-19 this spring.

The autobiography is called Solo, written with Jonas Heyrick, editor of Bajamontes magazine, reflecting de Gendt's love of attacking in races.

"People know me as a funny and entertaining person, but of course that is not always the case. I also wanted to tell the other side of the story. So the book became very personal. After introducing the book to the Belgian media, de Gendt told Sporza.

"I pulled out all my wife's folders with newspaper clippings from her childhood to the present. I was amazed at how many episodes and anecdotes reappeared. It was wonderful to go through everything and recall memories."[9

In the book, de Gendt recalls his biggest and best victories, but he also opens up about difficult moments, especially the beginning of the 2017 season, when "the dark spots in my head kept getting bigger."

He says, "I had to be careful. Everything was negative, first of all the marriage," de Gendt admitted to Het Nieuwsblad.

In his book, de Gendt stated that in the summer of 2016, "I began to feel as if my house had been broken into." He felt out of place with his wife Evelyn and children Amber and Timo.

"Ryder is away from home a lot. We can video call as much as we want, but there are still a lot of things we miss. I think a lot of riders feel that way," de Gendt revealed.

"It was hard work. I had to adapt to my family and they to me. The lack of understanding grew and grew. In the end, it was enough if I could leave: I ran away to the races.

De Gendt's mental problems surfaced during the 2017 training camp in Calpe.

"I went down the stairs to get my bike out of the garage and collapsed at the bottom of the stairs. I sat down and cried like a child for half an hour. Then I trained for five hours, but I don't remember anything that happened. I was running in a daze," de Gendt said in his book.

"I really had the urge to run away," he revealed, saying that personal problems drove him to attack more in the race.

"When you have physical pain, all you can think about is physical pain. It's not about what's in your head. I used to be in that position in the Tour that year. I had super form, everyone thought so, and it was true.

De Gendt won races, including a stage of the Vuelta a España, but his moments of escape were brief.

"For a moment you feel happiness, but not deep happiness. He said.

"I could have been normal and funny, but I wasn't at all. People who are really depressed often don't realize it. They are masters at hiding it. I was the same way.

De Gendt did not seek professional help, but gradually recovered. De Gendt did not seek professional help, but gradually recovered.

"Something hit me and I started working on it. I started thinking positively again and started fighting for my marriage, which I hadn't done for a while," he revealed.

"The coronavirus period was a positive experience for us and we got through it very well together. Evelyn and I discussed for a long time whether I should write about what happened in my book. But we decided it was okay to reveal it because those issues no longer existed." Now I am happy again."

De Gendt was able to train outdoors in Belgium during the spring when racing was suspended. But after becoming accustomed to spending time at home with his family, he contemplated retirement.

"I felt like what would happen to my life if I stopped racing," he admitted.

"I didn't miss the racing itself, I missed being on the road with my teammates and the goals that came with it. My contract was coming to an end and talks with the team had been difficult, so I was really thinking about quitting."

De Gendt, who will turn 34 in November, was unsure after Lotto Soudal delayed renewing his contract after temporarily firing some staff. He eventually returned to racing at the Tour de Pollogne and competed in both the Tour de France and the Giro d'Italia. In both races, he went on the attack for stage wins and entertained his fans with social media posts.

His best result in the Giro d'Italia was a third place finish on the stage to Madonna di Campiglio. He revealed that he did not feel safe at one point because of the many COVID-19s in the Giro d'Italia. He later retracted his statement and apologized.

"I have since extended my contract and my desire to race has returned.

"Therefore, I intend to race with enthusiasm for at least two more years. I feel good, although I sense that I am beginning to deteriorate."

De Gendt has won 15 races, most of them breakaways; he turned professional in 2006 and worked for TopSport Flanders and Vacansoleil-DCM before joining Lotto in 2015.

Speaking to Het Laatste Nieuws, de Gendt revealed that he was given a cortisone injection in 2009 to treat an injury. However, when asked about his innocence, he candidly replied: "Yes.

De Gendt made a name for himself as a breakaway expert in 2012, winning the Stelvio summit stage of the Giro d'Italia. Since then, he has won nine races, including two stages in the Tour de France and one stage in the Vuelta a España.

He is both respected and feared by the other riders who join him on the attack. He has his own "box of tricks" to increase his chances of victory.

"By trying to play with them mentally, I can push the other riders in a certain direction," he told Sporza.

"In an attack, sometimes it's purely about how you feel, and sometimes you have to follow the numbers on the power meter. It also depends on the condition of my legs."

There is also the trick of escape.

"Sometimes I have to put on a bit of an act. If I'm in pain, I hide it well. If not, I pretend I can't go on," he wrote in his book published by Sporza.

"Sometimes it's the other way around: when I'm not feeling 100 percent, I pretend to be better than I am. You run just a little bit faster on the front, even if you are at or beyond your limits. That's how you instill fear in your rivals."

"Having a mental edge is often of great value.